Saturday, July 30, 2011

These one way people gonna mow us down







I'm having a recurring fantasy of someone (pick your super hero) mowing a huge swath in a perfect circle around the Earth. It will be a path people can walk and stay safe on. It will be a pathway that goes around and around and around with no end.  People can safely walk it with their children's children's children but in my fantasy they won't move off the mowed swath until they tolerate.  I mean this:

tol·er·ate/ˈtäləˌrāt/Verb

1. Allow the existence, occurrence, or practice of (something that one does not necessarily like or agree with) without interference.
My fantasy imagines all the one-way people walking this swath - and I don't for one minute mean just the religious kind - I mean every single human being out there who is compelled to diss down, scorn, mock and nay-say whatever is not their schtick: those peeps who in order to keep their own world conception going -  must attack other people doing things a different way.

(The tolerant ones are gonna be rockin' the world in my fantasy.  We're gonna be dancing, singing and sharing food.  We're going to respect and honor creativity and all that means.  It's gonna be a Golden Rule World!)



I know I'll find raw-foodists, conventional foodists, organic, and non-organic folks, democrats, republicans, gays, straights, bis, and trans, atheists, every religion, every brand of MBTI, every astro-sign, every kind of group in this bigger group no matter which sub-group makes you feel like king of the hill.  If you need to attack and dismantle other's world views to hold onto your own - in my fantasy you get to be walking the path with the one-way people. (from time to time you will find me there too - it is afterall a fantasy: a hope for the future!)


I admit I feel infuriated these days by people who can't hold their own ground without putting others down. Find your place and stand proud people! You could be so, so not like me and I will clasp your hand and shout to the sky "well done" - looking you straight in the eye - human to human -  if you can carry your banner without intolerance for people who don't mirror you to you.


We aren't all cut out of the same mold. We don't, in fact, share the same perspective in space, time or experience.


Find your place, that place you choose and know to be true for you, and stand your ground folks. We are learning to be who we are. That's got all kinds of evolutionary possibilities. Free will, independence, peer based creativity .... mutual respect, courage, strength.....

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Acetycholine - a little essay about Science

I'm not much of a science girl anymore.

It's a done there been that kind of thing with me.  I took oodles of chemistry, microbiology, anatomy and physiology back at the university and in the end I threw it all off for English Literature at great but worthy cost.

The truth is that hydrogen and oxygen molecules never struck me as terribly real - nor did they excite me in a way that reverberated the "this is true to life!" explanation I chase.

An explanation has to ring authentic in my mitochondria for me to stand by it.

Knowing the molecular weight and covalent bonds of empirical table elements doesn't strike that chord in me - blame my genetic code.

However I ever cheer the tuning and co-playing of my instrument of understanding to all other sane, ethical beings.  Our instruments play the world.

Not at all on the same track but somehow relevant to me - dissecting a cadaver left me feeling I'd conquered repugnance but not that I understood one wit more what a human being is.  {We pulled on Jane Doe's dead tendons and her arms moved... woohoo?}

I sort of liked Physics - and to be truthful I'd burn the midnight hours by starting a chapter and becoming so intrigued by the ideas that I had to head into the forest so to speak, in order to follow something very very cool.  But as a result I didn't do well on exam questions like this:
  "A window washer pulls herself upward using the bucket-pulley apparatus show in Figure (the woman is in a bucket, a rope tied to the top of the bucket, and she's pulling on the downward direction of rope that goes up over the pulley) (a) How hard must she pull downward to raise herself slowy at a constant speed? (b) If she increases this force by 10 percent, what will her acceleration be? The mass of the person plus the bucket is 65 kg."
These questions did not awaken me but left me frantically wondering what the hell I was doing pursuing "higher" education.

And I'm ashamed to admit my girlfriend and I flirted shamelessly with the TA in lab and that is how I passed physics.

My physic's professor, Owen Chamberlain, won the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1959.  He was a genius and also the worst teacher I have ever had in all my life.  I don't mean to say anything here except he was an amazing researcher and truly good person who was forced to teach to make his pay by the Man.  

He would madly write equations on those miraculous chalkboards in PS2 at Berkeley- filling one - pulling down the next one filling that one etc. - (all of us madly trying to keep up by scratching facsimiles into our notebooks) - then he'd stop and stand still for a few moments.  "No, No" he'd say and then he'd start erasing like crazy blackboard after blackboard.

By the end of the year - only a handful of students showed up in PS2.   They must have been telepaths or something.(looks like things have changed a bit - now you can at least not show up and still hear the lecture while you wait for the doings and undoings of your local Nobel Laureate.)

You can see why Literature is a better calling for me.  It's much kinder to meanderers and those whose ideas are ever changing.

Still I have a kudo to pass to Science right now and it's in the form of Acetycholine.  It's a long story but here's the short form.

From the Psychological standpoint:  There are Introverts (people energized by solitude and deep thought) and Extroverts (party down folks who love to socialize and take things at "face" value.)
 
From the Physiological standpoint: Extroverts are proven to use the Dopamine/Sympathetic nervous paths of the brain.  If you're of that ilk have you researched taking Dopamine?  That might be a very bad idea so don't mind me!
 
But if what I've found true about Acetycholine is true for Introverts then any of you who know you walk that road should look into it....
I'm an Introvert and our physiological path according to the scientists is the Acetycholine/Parasympathetic path.

I have been feeling utterly stressed lately and so I decided to give my "throttle-down" system - the system of choice for Introverts a boost.  The old scientist in me decided to give molecules a chance this weekend so I went down to Natural Grocers and got me some Acetycholine in the form of Alpha GPC plus some Huperzine-A for staying power (stops Acetycholine from getting broken down.)

I have to admit - molecules and the like still strike me as less apparent explanations of the world than Geb and Nut but I'm of a phenomenological  persuasion and in the end, as apparent, the Alpha GPC and Huperzine-A are mellowing the harsh no. doubts.  I just wanted to pass on that these two little over the counter introverted/acetycholine/parasympathetic stimulating molecular combos do dance up in a very convincing way in my test group comprised of two Introverts!  :)

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Sadness is not Depression.

It's OK to feel sad
in honor of my Mom's 2011 Life Journey
♥ ♥ ♥
My Dad passed away 6 months ago and I still feel very sad, for myself, but especially for my Mother. My Mother is learning to live without her partner of 57 years and many days as her confidante, I live through that with her.  It's not happy.  It's often pretty gut wrenching and steeped in tears but it's real. I've learned so much from my Mom's rhythm of honoring her grief but also being strong.

Is sadness the great demon or is the demon the social pressure to be up and fueling everyone else's tank with optimism 24/7?  I am so proud of my Mom for her integrity this year - and that includes that she allows herself to feel her very real grief without excuse but without indulgence either.  It hasn't been a "good" year to say the least but it's been a brave year - it's been a year of watching my Mom's gritty determination to persist in the face of the abyss that's left me in awe of the woman who ushered me into this magical, crazy place called Earth.
♥ ♥ ♥
♥ ♥ ♥



Friday, February 11, 2011

Home Sweet Home

My partner and I have moved 7 times in the last 11 years but I think we're home.

One of the habits we got into during all these moves is to not bother hanging pictures or otherwise sweet homing our home - and because of that home has become  increasingly spartan with every move.

Now I'm not knocking this because there's something really, really good about spartan in my book.

Still....

I just got back from the Tucson Gem Show where I usually spend my time buying inventory for a little side business I have.  But this year we took some Christmas gift cash stash and bought stuff for the house.  Not practical stuff....pretty stuff ♥


I spent today finding places around our house for all the treasures we picked out at the show mostly Tibetan and Nepalese wall hangings which we got to buy straight from the artists.  Up until now we had white walls in every which direction and little to no anything that wasn't 100% practical.  Now there's alot of crazy beautiful art festooning the walls!

I'm a bit stunned at how sweet it feels in here....just like Home Sweet Home!  :D